Los Llanos del Peral

Beautiful Sunset

Howard — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 18:42:29 GMT

Folks,

What a beautiful sunset we had tonight!

Topped off a lovely November day in the Los Llanos sunshine...

Rgds,

Howard

NHW AGM 24th Nov 2008

Neighbourhood Watch — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 16:49:37 GMT

Vecinos Cooperando

Neighbourhood Watch

Nachbarschaftswacht

ZURGENA AND DISTRICT NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH

NEWS LETTER 9.1

November 2008

Welcome to News Letter number 9.1 from the Zurgena and District Neighbourhood Watch. As mentioned in a news letter last month we have now agreed a venue for the AGM. It will be in the Theatre in Zurgena. Doors open at 17.30 hours and meeting will commence at 18.00 hours on 24th November.

For those who do not know the theatre ...

The Duck...

Howard — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 14:10:51 GMT

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, 'Hang on! You're a duck.

'I see your eyes are working,' replies the duck.

'And you can talk!' exclaims the barman.

'I see your ears are working, too,' says the duck. 'Now if you don't

mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?'

'Certainly, sorry about that,' says the barman as he pulls the duck's

pint. 'It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are ...

Loving Husband...

Howard — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 10:47:27 GMT

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening, when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in quite some time.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly worked his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast ...

Endesa Electricity Bill Calculator...

Howard — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 17:36:54 GMT

Folks,

Having just been connected to mains electricity after some time on builders supply, our thoughts are now focused on electricity usage and how much it's going to cost us!

With that in mind, using the calculations in a neighbour's Endesa bill, I've created an Excel spreadsheet which uses all the current taxes & tariffs to generate what your next bill will look like, based on your 'potencia' and the latest meter reading figures you enter.

You can download this spreadsheet ...

Are you selling up to return to the UK

connie — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 14:04:58 GMT

If so this might interest you?

http://wrhclaranet.googlepages.com/

Warning Zurgena Town Hall Let Down !!!!

2003 cobra — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 10:23:10 GMT

Well we are in the process of buying a property in Los Llanos del Peral

The estate agents in Mojacar informed us that ALL LEGAL DOCUMENTATION

was in their possession (Catastral,Note Simple and Escritura) so after our

offer was accepted by the vendor we applied to Bancaja for a 50%

Morgage,No Problems we were told 4-6 weeks and the property would be

ours..........

Then came the ""BUT"" Zurgena Town Hall have REFUSED to

release/provide ...

First Build Date ???

2003 cobra — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 21:18:23 GMT

Hi all we are in the process of a resale purchase in Los llanos del Peral but are awaiting building permission verification from Zurgena town hall,also a build date confirmation from the same !!!

Does anyone know when New Horizon Villas company first started building in the Cucador/Los Llanos del Peral area please???

UK - Spain Removals

Howard — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 15:17:54 GMT

If you need to move household goods or transport items between anywhere in the UK to mainland Spain (or back again), I can highly recommend the services of Jim Johnston AKA 'Jimbo the Scot'. He does regular runs to the UK and can accommodate full or part loads.

A truly friendly and personal service at very reasonable prices.

See his website for further details...

http://www.jimbothescot.com/

Howard

Therapy

Howard — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 09:57:03 GMT

Jacqueline and her husband Marc went for counselling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Jacqueline went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient ...

Useful Links...

Howard — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 18:30:00 GMT

I thought I'd start a thread listing some useful links to sites of Spanish national & local interest. Please feel free to add any links that you think may be of interest.

Here's some to get us started, in no particular order...

http://jiminy304.vox.com/

http://newsvote.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/fds/hi/business/market_data/currency/11/13/one_month.stm

http://www.skyscanner.net/

http://www.amigoautos.co.uk/

http://www.jimbothescot.com/

http://www.arboleas.co.uk/forum/

http://www.elcorteingles.es/

http://www.carrefour.es/index.html

http://www.myforecast.com/bin/expanded_forecast_15day.m?city=129141&metric=true

http://www.spainexpat.com/

http://www.alboxspain.com/

http://www.infobel.com/en/world/WorldTeldir.aspx?page=/eng/euro/es&qSelLang=EN

http://www.123teachme.com/learn_spanish/conversational_spanish

http://www.andalucia.com/living/home.htm

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/BritonsLivingAbroad/index.htm

http://sigpac.mapa.es/fega/visor/

http://www.practicalspain.com/spanish-arthropods.htm

Rgds,

Howard ...

General Building Work & Plumbing

Howard — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 14:14:38 GMT

I would like to take this opportunity to highly recommend Dominic Clark & Stewart Bett of D & S Construction for any general building work you require.

They carry out all kinds of general building work, specialising in Brick Paving, Block & Stonework, Extensions, Groundwork & Plumbing.

We have recently used their services to build a timber wood store, which was built to a very high standard and at a reasonable cost. The boys were very professional and kept the work site ...

Thinking of buying a resale property in Los Llanos Del Peral

2003 cobra — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 17:39:39 GMT

Hi to all we are looking at buying a resale property in your area !!!

Any help and or advise on any aspect will be very helpful !!!

thanks Keith + Nesta.

Two Irish Hunters

Howard — Thu, 11 Sep 2008 10:05:03 GMT

Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.

They managed to bag 6.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two lads objected strongly. 'Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.'

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.

Somehow, surrounded ...

7 Reasons not to mess with children...

Howard — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 12:40:54 GMT

7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.

The ...

Jesus is watching you...

Howard — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 07:26:06 GMT

A burglar broke into a house and shined his flashlight around looking for valuables. He picked up a CD player when a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying: "Jesus is watching you".

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked off his flashlight and froze. When he heard nothing more he continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out he heard: "Jesus is watching you".

Freaked out, he shone his light around frantically, Finally, in the corner of the room ...

Gardening Club Moving...

Howard — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 20:55:28 GMT

FYI...

The Almanzora Valley Gardening Club is moving...

From the September 5th meeting onwards the club is moving from the Roselada (opposite Bar International), for their monthly meetings, to El Rincon in Albox, which is bigger, darker (better for the screened photos) has more toilets (which are clean), more chairs, and they will put on adequate bar staff. There is adequate parking off the back streets and in the surrounding area. For those bringing plants etc the side door will be ...

Telemicro TV

Fishnthenet — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:58:37 GMT

Guess all who have Telemicro TV - the one with the mesh dish - are no longer getting any signal - hearing all sorts of rumours etc that they have been closed down - will not add to speculation on a forum but you can get info by typing in their name into google and picking up posts. Will just have to improve my Spanish now or turn off the volume!!!!!!!!!!!

NHW - What a nerve!

Neighbourhood Watch — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:54:20 GMT

Date: Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:52 AM

Just to inform you there was attempted break in,at no 22 Jardines Almanzora La Alfoquia yesterday 13/08/08.

Fortunately the owners were in. They jumped over the fence and tried to pull the blinds up .The owner ran out

of the house and chased them in his car.

But they got away, his wife managed to get the reg no of car.

Grey Audi A4 /////////.He informed the Guardia. Then half hour later they were back trying a house further up the road, but neighbours ...

Accident Victim

Howard — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 19:43:59 GMT

A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be OK, you'll walk again, everything, but something happened. I'm trying to break this gently but your pen*s was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it."

The bloke groans a bit, but the doctor goes on "But it's going to be all right, we have the ...

Raffle Ticket seller!

Neighbourhood Watch — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 12:26:57 GMT

We have received a report that there is a man going door to door around

the Cuesta de los Pinos area near Cucador selling raffle tickets. He

maintains he is from the Town Hall. This has been checked with the Town Hall and they know of no one who has their authority to be selling raffle

tickets door to door.

He is using a Brown Fiat

Translator

Howard — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 10:17:18 GMT

I would just like to thoroughly recommend Ivka, from Can Connect in Albox, as an excellent translator, if you ever need one.

We recently had to attend a consultants appointment at Huercal Overa hospital, where it was fairly important to understand what was being said. We asked at Can Connect for a translator, and Bill the owner, who also translates , was busy, but booked us with his Mother Ivka.

Ivka is an extremely nice person who we got on with straight away. She had a friendly approach ...

Warning - Walk, Don't Run!

Howard — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 12:41:33 GMT

Folks,

Just a timely reminder, if ever you needed one, to watch out and take care when walking on the standard builders tiles used a lot around here.

They are of course the cheap & cheerful, NON non-slip variety, and are lethal when wet... but they are equally dangerous when covered in a film of the fine dust we get around here.

The reason I bring this to your attention, is that Sheila slipped and fell when rushing into the villa to answer the phone. This has resulted in a ...

Tommy Cooper lives... again!

Howard — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 23:37:58 GMT

Folks,

Sorry about these... blame Tommy!

Mind you, they are better spoken in a Tommy Cooper voice...

A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under

his arm and says: "Pint please, and one for the road."

Two cannibals are eating a clown.

One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to ...

Parking at Arboleas market

Neighbourhood Watch — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 10:14:48 GMT

Not a NHW issue more a nieghbourly one!

Was reported that the Guardia were booking cars parked on the Arboleas/Zurgena back road near market yesterday - from experience this does narrow the road so might be reason for this action (can't remember seeing white lines on the road) - so if you go best park in Rambla in case it is going to be a regular thing - also never park on the bridge, that is asking for a ticket.

and there's more.......

horsey — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 22:03:47 GMT

Q: Do you know how Welshmen practice safe sex?

A: They spray �X�s on the back of the animals that kick!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Lawyer�s creed: A man is innocent until proven broke!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Q: What does Disneyland and Viagra have in common?

A: Make You wait one hour for a two-minute ride!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Two ladies were digging potatoes in the field. One lady digs up two very large potatoes. She says. �Oh my! These remind me of my husband balls.�

The other woman gazed ...

Some answers for the TV game show Family Fortunes

horsey — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:19:35 GMT

Some answers for the TV game show Family Fortunes:

Name something a blind person might use. - A sword!

Name a song with moon in the title. - Blue suede moon!

Name a bird with a long neck. - Naomi Campbell!

Name an occupation where you need a torch. - Burglar!

Name a famous brother and sister. - Bonnie & Clyde!

Name a dangerous race. - Arabs!

Name an item of clothing worn by the three musketeers. - A horse!

Name something that floats in the bath. - Water!

Name ...

NHW - Petrol Strike

Neighbourhood Watch — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:40:01 GMT

Hi all

Just in case it helps - there is a strike taking place at present and garages are running out of petrol, many in H O were out already - we heard last night that Alfoquia still had two days supply if it helps anyone.

Regards

Brian

Nun in a taxi

Howard — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:46:57 GMT

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the

VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he

is staring.

He replies:" I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend

you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am

and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear

just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or

ask that I would find ...

Wild boar at Los Llanos

Howard — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 22:25:03 GMT

Folks,

Spotted over our garden wall in the rambla this evening at 9:30pm...

Not as sharp as I'd have liked, but it was getting quite dark and I had to push the camera settings to the limit to get this handheld shot before he scurried away.

Rgds,

Howard

Room Service

Howard — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 14:51:59 GMT

A man checks into a hotel on a business trip and finds himself a bit lonely. He starts to think of one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab. So he pops into a phone booth near the hotel and finds an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.

She has all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, and long graceful legs all the way up to her..... well, you know the kind. So, back in ...

Taxi to Arboleas and Albox

Geoff — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:38:32 GMT

Good morning,

my first posting on the web site,Has anyone used Taxis from the area to Albox etc if so what sort of costs ?are they expensive and are they reliable ?

regards

Geoff

Car Sharing

iberlynx — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:23:53 GMT

Given the daily increase in fuel prices would it not be a good idea for residents to try and form a car sharing group. Just post as far in advance as possible were and when you are going.

Will help the environment as well as the pocket.

Mayor arrested!

Howard — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 21:52:46 GMT

Folks,

This looks like an 'interesting' development...

http://www.google.com/translate?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.elmundo.es%2Felmundo%2F2008%2F04%2F02%2Fespana%2F1207153354.html&langpair=es%7Cen&hl=en&ie=UTF8

http://jiminy304.vox.com/

I guess we'll have to see what the heck happens next!

Rgds,

Howard

update on minibus hire

Jacktoll — Wed, 28 May 2008 18:03:02 GMT

First of all the minibus has nine seats and that includes the driver , we are trying it out for a month to see if anyone wants to use the service it is fully insured ,legal etc we are based in Vera and are just starting out if it works ?. We do fixed priced trips i.e Murcia shopping trip �170.00 this covers central pick up point and the minibus and driver if after the trip the people wanted to go some where else as long as the bus has no bookings it would take them to the next destination but ...

Los Higuerales Burglary

Neighbourhood Watch — Mon, 26 May 2008 09:12:16 GMT

Another weekend burglary following last weekends.

This time we had a burglary at Los Higuerales, near Limaria. It appears the occupants had left for a weekend break on Friday 23rd and their house was subsequently attacked, exact time not known.

The offenders accessed the property from open fields at the rear and forced a kitchen door. Having gained entry they stole a small safe, passports and jewellery.

Seen in the vicinity earlier the same day was a silver coloured car and it is believed ...

Minibus Hire

Jacktoll — Sun, 25 May 2008 09:43:07 GMT

Driver and 9 seater minibus for hire , days out, shopping trips please enquire for a quote at jacktolley@hotmail.com or Tel663375342

driving test for rainy days.....

horsey — Wed, 21 May 2008 12:32:02 GMT

The automobile driving manual says the average driver's

reaction time is: .75 seconds....... or 1 car length for every 10 mph......

Test your average reaction time..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/reaction_version5.swf

NHW � Burglary in Llanos del Peral

Neighbourhood Watch — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:17:42 GMT

Hi All

Sorry to say that we had a burglary on Friday at around 11 pm in Llanos del Peral. A black car was seen in the area at the time and two men running up the road towards it. I am not in a position to disclose the parties robbed at this time, but again they were away for the weekend. Cash, branded sunglasses & jewellery were taken. No further details available at present as to the make of car or nationality of the men.

What is clear at present is that many of these burglaries take ...

more funnie

horsey — Thu, 15 May 2008 08:31:09 GMT

Q: What�s the difference between a Solicitor and a Carp?

A: One�s a fish, and the other�s a scum sucking, bottom dweller!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Q: What�s the difference between genius and stupidity?

A: Genius has limits!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Q: What makes a lesbian climb up a wall?

A: A crack in the ceiling!

Q: What do you call an Australian with an IQ of twenty?

A: A Tasmanian!

_ _ _ _ _ _

Q: What do you call an Australian with an IQ of forty?

A: An Aborigine!

_ ...

Evolution of British Maths Teaching

Howard — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:08:02 GMT

1. Teaching Maths In 1970

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for �100. His cost of production is 4/5

of the price. What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for �100. His cost of production is 4/5

of the price, or �80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990

A logger sells a truckload of lumber for �100. His cost of production is

�80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000

A logger sells a truckload ...

Born before 1980?

Howard — Fri, 09 May 2008 09:02:14 GMT

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE

1920s, 30s , 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses full of asbestos.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese & tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

Then after that trauma, our baby cots were covered with bright coloured lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, ...

Burglary at Limaria

Howard — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:05:53 GMT

A burglary has occurred within the past two days at Los Higuerales, Limaria (which is between Llanos del Peral and Albox). The house was a holiday house in Limaria and was 'emptied'.

The entry was by using chisels on the Rejas on a window which was then forced open. They left amagazine which was jamming the door open presumably whilst they went in and out.

Stolen was a large-screen plasma television, American fridge/freezer and all the clothes in the closets.

It appears the American ...

Suspicious White Van

Howard — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 11:05:02 GMT

The below described vehicle was seen acting suspiciously in the area of Cuesta de los Pinos and headed off towards Llanos del Peral at about 3.0pm today (Saturday)

The vehicle was occupied by three men who were described as being of scruffy appearance. They seemed to be checking the area out.

The vehicle was a long wheel based White Ford Transit bearing a Portuguese Nationality plate and the number PX 6146. The rear windows were white painted out.

Rgds,

Howard

theres no broccoli!

horsey — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:00:40 GMT

A man walks into a grocery store and asks the assistant for a packet of broccoli.

�I�m sorry sir, we�re right out of broccoli.� Replied the assistant.

The customer leaves and comes back 20 minutes later and asks the same thing.

The assistant is polite and simply repeats what he said earlier.

The customer again leaves and comes back 20 minutes later still asking for broccoli.

The assistant is getting pretty pissed off and said. �Look, I�ve already told you twice. We ...

Accident investigation report.

horsey — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 15:48:35 GMT

Accident investigation report.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing in response to your request for additional information.

Re. Item number 7 of the accident claim form. I Put quote. �Poor planning.� The cause of my accident.

You said in your letter dated the 7th, that. �I should explain more fully.� I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I was a Bricklayer by trade, on the day of the accident I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When ...

2008 Sports Calendar

Howard — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:21:31 GMT

For all you sporty types out there, here's a link to the 2008 sports calendar, so you don't miss any of the big events, and can plan your time away from the swimming pool...

http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/sports_calendar/may.shtml

Rgds,

Howard

Fly Free Zones

jimbothescot — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 22:39:54 GMT

May and I have just had Lifestyle Enclosures create a fly free zone in our rear courtyard. We just want say well done to the guys for a job very well done. From the sales rep turning up exactly on time, a written quote by e-mail within 2 days, and the work being programmed in to suit our timing.

The team of guys were very clean and tidy in their work practices and when complete the area was left spotless.

You can contact Lifestyle Enclosures at El Real Industrial Estate in Antas.

Tel ...

Jolly Gel

Howard — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 12:49:07 GMT

I just thought I'd bring to the attention of new pool owners in the area a product which will keep your pool sparkling clear and maximise the efficiency of your pool filter. The soil around here is very fine which means there is a lot of extremely fine dust particles blowing around. A pool cover and regular cleaning will help to keep your pool reasonably clean, but the grain size and efficiency of most sand filters fitted means that most of this fine dust is not removed and stays in solution, ...

Mountain bike inner tubes

dave upton — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 20:13:34 GMT

Does anyone know where I can purchase new inner tubes for mountain bike? Been to the ferreteria at Antas (which I thought would be favourite) but got no joy, with a weak response that they may have one in 2 or 3 weeks time.

Last recourse would be to have some sent out from the UK, but thought I'd ask around first -

Kindest regards -

Dave Upton

Llanos del Peral